Making Difficult Cuts to Rework Conflict
We’ve been discussing conflict, and how to reframe it to use creative abrasion to achieve true synergy. (See Post #1 on this topic.) It’s up to the leader to make this happen, and sometimes this requires making some difficult decisions. (See Post #2 ) This often includes making some cuts to your team, to allow for the rest of the team to function with greater efficiency.
Some of the hardest team members to eliminate are those who are getting great results for the business, but are doing so in ways that hinder or limit the team’s overall level of trust and capability.
You may not know why these particular members of the team would do things that damage trust on the team, but it is the leader’s job —with the team’s support—to ensure clarity about what behaviors will and will not be accepted. Building a culture of trust demands that everyone accept this as a team value, and not in words only. It must be accompanied by actions.
There are three other ways that I consistently encounter with teams in which trust is damaged or limited, and unproductive conflict emerges. These are:
- The individual who won’t share personal information
- Sarcasm disguised as humor
- One or more disengaged members of the team
Sometimes, there’s a team member who may have trouble fitting in and is reluctant to share anything personal, believing that work life is work life, and personal life is personal. Not wanting to mix the two, this type of person will not discuss his or her personal life with co-workers. Often, this causes failure for the team, but sometimes the team can overcome it, especially with a leader who is a great role model.
A team can work very hard to build the trust level for the members of the entire team, incorporating personal information sharing into their staff meetings and seeking out opportunities to collaborate on projects. It is not an easy process, but it can work. If trust is built on a strong foundation, it will be able to sustain the natural human errors that we all make.
For that to happen, though, it must be a priority for both the leader and the team. Is there someone on your team who is holding back; someone with whom others cannot seem to connect? If there is, your team needs to deal with this, because even one closed-off member can distract a team from its primary focus: to use trust to do great work together. The entire team needs to convey the importance of opening up to each other as humans, and make it clear that everyone is expected to work together in this way. It’s important to create a safe environment in which this can begin to happen.
A problem also occurs when one or more members of a team erode trust through their sense of humor . Words matter, and a constant negative exchange can keep a wall between people. This often happens on teams that have been together a long time and haven’t had many members join or leave. They know each other’s weak spots, and they’re used to poking so-called fun at each other. They’ve come to habitually deal with issues covertly through public humiliation versus overtly through direct private conversation.
If this is happening on your team, try to assess how much of a problem it actually is. Watch the faces and body language after a verbal dagger has been thrown, and if you can see the energy being sapped from that person, intervene.
Take a moment and think about it—does this joking make the team stronger? Or, might it keep people from truly opening up to each other? Do you recognize this happening anywhere on your team?
