How Conflict Can Illuminate Your Team

Kimberly Douglas • Jun 11, 2019

How leaders can set the tone for healthy - versus destructive - conflict

Did you know that light originates from conflict? Atoms emit light only after bumping into another particle. The collision adds energy to the atom by momentarily knocking its electrons out of orbit. When the electrons fall back into place the extra energy is released as a photon—the basic unit of light.

I find this scientific metaphor suitable for teams. With a healthy amount of conflict, an entire team becomes brighter. Conflict strengthens our ideas by illuminating their flaws and refines our decisions by shedding light on our blind spots. What we miss seeing with our own eyes comes to light when we bump up against the differing perspectives and opinions of our teammates.

Unfortunately, most people shy away from conflict. Instead of seeing it as an illuminating force, they fear conflict because it’s combustible.

As a leader, your job involves setting the tone for conflict. How can you do this well?

1) Solicit pushback . By inviting others to poke and prod at your ideas, you give permission for your teammates to voice dissent without feeling disrespectful.

2) Epitomize courtesy . While you don’t want to be walking on eggshells with your team, neither do you want people cutting one another down or trading insults. Confront uncivil language and impolite behavior.

3) Demand unity . At the end of the day, you have to make tough choices as a leader, and sometimes your decisions may lack consensus or not even have a majority. Regardless, once you’ve committed to a course of action, no one on the team can be permitted to withhold support. You must agree to disagree, and then unify around what has been decided.

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